Regaining your loved one’s trust and love is a healthy and necessary part of the recovery process. You can be able to reestablish the relationship with patience and consistent effort. Once your life begins to stabilize you will be able to think clearly about your deeds and the ways to mend. It’s important to make amends with your family and friends and make them understand that you are completely sober now and trustworthy. However, the people felt heartbroken, betrayed during your addiction need time to heal and your constant effort. The good thing is that they want to mend the relationship again and your effort will be worth it.
Tips That Might Help
You should be proud now that you have survived a dark part of your life and successfully saved yourself. But if you are like most recovering addicts now is the time to step back into real life with full of tattered relationships and broken trusts. How do you rebuild the trust again? Here are some tips that might help.
Communication is always the key to lower the risk of complications. Lack of communication is the major reason of most failing relationships. Learn how to communicate properly. This can be a bit difficult initially. Take small steps like think before say out loud, learn how to categorize and identify your feelings by names. The better you will be able to express how you feel the more the fog in your relationship will be clear.
Tell the Truth
Honesty is the key to walking the path of sobriety. You should be honest with yourself as well as your close ones. Every single lie you tell, no matter how small it is will be building a case against you and it will be harder for your family and friends to trust you anymore.
Keep your expectations reasonable. Most of the time you will be heartbroken for sure because your past actions may have cut deeper than you think. It’s unreasonable to expect your close ones will embrace you with open arms. So take little steps ahead. This could take a month or even a year. But if you want to make things work again wholeheartedly then eventually they will understand you and everything will be okay.
Help Them Understand
Sometimes giving your closed ones more insight about what you have been through can open them up to trusting you again. You will have to understand that they had a hard time with you and unless you open up about your journey they will not understand the nature of addiction.
One of the most important and biggest struggles is to forgive yourself for your past actions. But keep in mind that’s past and you cannot change that. Instead you can mend the relationships that had been harmed because of your actions.
See Things from Their Perspective
Substance abuse not only harm one person’s life. It affects the lives, feelings ones around you as well. Your loved one probably hold resentment towards you. Communicate with them, try to understand things from their perspective, make them understand that you are not the same person anymore.
Don’t Get Defensive
When communicating with your loved one the conversation could bring up all the bad memories. Talking about the pain you have been through with your loved one is a part of the healing process. If you react with anger and rage it will only give a negative impact on your relationship.
Take Responsibility for Your Action
Last but not the least, if you want to rebuild the trust of your loved one you need to acknowledge the pain you caused. Don’t give excuses of intoxication. Your actions are your own and if you can take responsibility for them, you can mend your relationship easily.
Losing the trust of someone you care about is the most painful thing. Sometimes you are never able to get it back. But it’s worth fighting for your relationships.